A Little Spoiling Never Hurt...right?

Tony is the biggest kid I have to take care of. He is always the first one to tell us about latest movie or event that he doesn't want to miss! It was no surprise to me that I had him jumping up and down like a kiddo when I suggested he take the three older ones to a movie today! It is a rare moment when just the baby and I can chill out together. I forget how fun the one on one interaction without an older sibling hovering can be. Today was about spending time with my little buddy. He loves music and dancing so it was no shock when he pointed to a toy in a store and said "dum dum" for drum drum! His most favorite thing to do is drum! Generally the rule is you get a toy at Christmas or birthday...anything else is paid for out of allowance or a gift from a generous Nana, Papa or Grandma or Grandpa...well today I bent the rules for my Benedict. He has a soft spot in my heart and I know the gang is enjoying their movie while he is stuck with me...so we bought it and he helped me tear it out of box and jiggled and oohed and drooled all over it! That's a sure sign he loves it! Now I find him racing around house with it and I am wondering if before too long I am going to regret getting my speed demon this toy! Lol oh well they are only so little for such a short time.

Support

Watch Out! I am getting up on my soap box... Whoa! Big step up! Ok here goes.... I had a great moment today with a Godly woman! Yup, we do exist! A supportive, encouraging, motivating beautiful mama of four little ones. She is sweet, kind and super duper intelligent, but I digress. Here is my soap box moment... If there is anything I want to teach my girls it is this: not to fall prey to caddy behavior, gossip or breaking people down! Nope, girls, women we need to be building each other up thru our struggles, hardships and just plain old life in general! We need to be loving and uplifting and encouraging to our peers. Remember the old commandment we forget: do unto others...! That's what I hope and pray I can teach my youngsters so that some day they can be as blessed by someone as I was today! Actions speak louder than words so smile ladies and girls, hug each other...whisper a compliment or tell that gal that appears down what an awesome person she is... Imagine how amazing the world would be if as girls and women we complimented first before criticizing....whoa! Lightbulb moment there folks! My girls like to have a " sister club" where they do sisterly things, I hope to teach them to expand the club to all girls, hey it only takes one to start a chain reaction! I love you my friend, you know who you are and I am so grateful for how you lifted me up today and made me feel not so alone in this epic life of motherhood. Ok jumping off the soap box now.

Who Said a Boy Cannot have a Fairy Garden?

This one is for all the little boys out there that believe in fairies! In the beginning of Spring my Julia created a hidden fairy garden for herself. It took off in spades and Emerson decided she wanted one too! Tony graciously donated a flower bed to the cause and she planted purple and pink petunias and fairy accessories. Well every day the girls seek treasures and proof that the fairies are liking their homesteads. Today, Blaise expressed to me why he couldn't have one...well I said... I suppose you can if you want to.. Oh boy did that open a can of worms! The sisters, as I call them when I am most disappointed, ranted and raved that boys know next to nothing about fairies and why should I allow him to copy. I gently explained the yard was certainly big enough for more fairies and I found a spot in the front of the yard. Here's the kicker...my little Blaise, the engineer has created such an enchanting garden that his sisters are now jealous. He constructed a bridge, a pool, a house and a path. He even made a little flag and "borrowed" a bell to hang from the bush. He informed me that no fairy will come with out a bell. He worked on it all day and proudly told me that he intends upon opening up the garden to frogs, slugs and turtles too! Guess that's how fairies get around these days! I am no expert but if I were a fairy I would set up shot in Blaise's garden any day!

The Walk

Tonight I took a longggg walk with Julia and the baby. We have been talking and walking as much as we can. As she verges on puberty I notice she is craving the one on one time. She chattered away tonight about how much fun it was today going to the park and making some new friends at church while I attended a VBS meeting. Which by the way, was just what the doctor ordered for my sad soul. I felt love, compassion and a true sense of faith amongst this group. One thing I know, my grandma would not want me wallowing around in pity and gloom. She was one that never let anything get her down. She would do to others first in order to get her mind off of anything blue. Julia and I walked and I listened to her idle chatter, when I did something I swore I would not do...but who hasn't asked a loved one to just "send me a sign" that you are here or around... It just so happened that God heard the pain in my heart and at that very minute we both saw a baby bunny on our path. It was tiny and adorable and nibbling on some grass as if to say " look at me"
Julia and I froze watching this bunny dine and then in an instant it hopped off, but wait... What was it eating? None other than a daisy! Grandma's favorite flower. Thank you God, You know just the right thing to say for this sad soul...we laughed at that bunny hopping away, like my son getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I look forward to our next walk, who knows what God will say to me next.

The Locket

Here's one treasure my grandma had that is far more valuable than diamonds or pearls...it was a locket she wore sometimes....when I opened it up I had to hold back the tears. It was hard packing up all her stuff and seeing an empty room. But here is my blessing I received today: every single aide, nurse, staff person, resident that had met my grandma had been touched by her in such a way that they had to comment on how "nice" she was. She was such a social butterfly it didn't surprise me that she had met so many in such a short amount of time. I plan on wearing the locket, not only for my girls, but to keep Grandma close.

Babysitting

Julia is on a mission to earn some money! She has her eye on a few frivolous things that don't fall under my definition of necessary to survive in life category. After tithing, buying her pet supplies ( yes we do make her do that) and blowing some funds on vacation she has discovered she needs to increase the cash flow. So she approached me about babysitting. Now, I feel it is her God given right and duty to help out with her siblings, but since she is not old enough to go and babysit someone else's child I decided to take her up on her offer of helping out with Benedict. She asked for 5 bucks an hour and I countered with 2, but being like her dad and negotiating we settled on 3$! I know I am getting off dirt cheap but let's not tell her that! Besides it isn't like I am leaving her alone, not yet anyways! Today she earned her first wage and I have to say I am liking this gig! I was able to do three loads of laundry without interruption and I got dinner prepped and a little porch time in. ( that's when I make an iced coffee and grab the iPad and do my "stuff")
Now, I had to sneak a few photos in but she felt like I was hovering so I left them alone...from a distance!

Grandma's Garden

The kids and I wanted to have a special spot to go to and remember Grandma. Since she had requested a cremation and not a lot of hoopla I was feeling empty and desiring closure. Tony offered to do a garden for her memory and so it began. My grandmother adored daisies of all sorts and being that yellow was her favorite color we planted a daisy garden for her. The kids added a new St. Francis statue and I placed my rock in it that I had made with my grandma when I was three. It was something she kept for a long time and just recently I acquired it. I think this is a great way to remember her. My mom came out and contributed some daisies and a beautiful solar light up angel. Now whenever I look out my window from the kitchen I can think of Grandma.

Grateful for Silence

Today was hard...I had to keep a happy face on even though I wanted to curl in a ball and do nothing. That is not my nature though so I pulled myself up by my sandal straps and plugged away at my list of mundane chores. I found myself checking often to see if I got the text or call that would end the wondering of When? I only received a few updates of "she is resting peacefully" and "they adjusted her position so she would be more comfortable".
The kids laughed, fought, cried, teased, giggled, squealed and talked all day long! Yet, I was in silence. I walked around performing my duties and yet was able to gratefully function in silence. I think if I allowed the noise to come in I would crumble...so we got the pools out, we had a picnic, we took a walk and I mopped, did laundry and made dinner. Silently I waited to hear the news and as of yet have heard nothing. I pray for the ones at her bedside who have been rocks thru out. Making tough decisions, daily sitting by her side and not once complaining or wanting to go home and give up. I am honored to call them family and I am sad that I can not be there as well. Recently I was told her BP was really low and oxygen low, not looking good was the last text I got. The silence was broken and I realized it is happening sooner as opposed to later. I am going to lose one of the most important people in my life. I am grateful for silence as I pray and reflect on Grandma and her life and the fact that it is time.

Let Freedom Ring

Went to rally today! Then to hospital to say goodbye to my grandma!
It was hard for me to see her with the tubing and machine...she did have her lipstick and rouge on in true Elizabeth Schueler style but it pained me to know that our time was ending! She smiled and laughed as best she could with all four of my kids and before I left she looked me straight in the eye and said these words which I shall never forget " you really are a good mother" to which I replied " I learned from the best" she kissed me or I kissed her I don't recall thru my choked up tears and I watched my baby smile, my son rub her hand and my two daughters say goodbye! They know her time is coming soon and I want them to recall grandma as she was today... Feisty, sweet and loving, all the while donning her lipstick and rouge! I know she'd have been proud of us today for standing up for freedom, she did many things for this country while her husband Emerson served in the war!
God Bless You Elizabeth Schueler! I am already aching for when we will be apart, but we will meet again someday!

Eleven Months Old!

My baby is almost no longer a baby...he is on the verge of toddlerhood and although I cheer at every milestone I also know secretly...is this the LAST time I will get to experience it? Only the Lord knows the answer to that, but I feel complete and joyous at how beautiful and awesome our family is, and little Benedict has added so much joy and contentment to my life. He is repeating quite a bit of words now and very personable with strangers, unlike last month where he cried every time I walked out of room. He has his two upper teeth and all his lower teeth which makes nursing a BLAST let me tell you! But, we will continue as long as he wants, and NO you will not see us on the cover of Time magazine at age of four! He loves his drum which has inspired his first birthday theme and he loves to bust a move any time the radio is on! Any day he will take his first steps as he is already letting go and standing like the leaning tower of Pisa. He adores his siblings more than me sometimes and constantly wants be where they are! He loves the water and has swam in a pool several times with out fear! He is eating better at the table now, but prefers to socialize rather than eat! I have found he is a great party trick in restaurants and at church...hey look what my baby can do! His recent new trick is pointing at everything and going "huh" like he is wondering what it is...
He does not like socks, shoes, or hats now so this is a first for me. I have left a trail of accessories all over the state of Michigan. He loves his books, eats them, turns them over, drools on them, tears them and throws them! Blaise learned the hard way and has lost a few to Tornado Benedict!
My favorite time of day is in the evening rocking him in red rocker on front porch all by myself...just my baby and I! Eleven Months...:( where is the time going?

Perseverance

Today I witnessed Emerson learn what the word perseverance means. Awhile back her Great Aunt Sharon and Great Grandma gave her a pink jump rope. She has been trying to master it ever since. Every day I watch her in the drive way with her purple crocs on trying to jump rope. I'm afraid she inherited my coordination. One quality I admire in her is that she NEVER gives up! Today she finally mastered that rope and with squeals and shouts she begged me to photograph her jump roping nonstop like a little jumping bean. Small and minor to most it was momentous to her. Not all of my children have been blessed with this can-do-it attitude and I have noticed that her confidence and will have gotten her far! I recall last week she tripped and scraped her knee and was crying, I told her maybe she should ride her bike instead and with tears rolling down her face she looked at me and said "mommy, then I would be a quitter and I don't want to quit, I want to jump rope!"
I only wish I had the stamina and courage myself...maybe I would have learned that harder knitting stitch, finished the last chapters of War and Peace and tried to make that creme brûlée recipe...so many would have should haves... I truly pray she keeps her air of perseverance the rest of her life! Something tells me she will!

Cupcake Sandwiches

Julia is sick and so a request was made of something special, colorful and yummy. I am no Betty Crocker and most know that, but she had to cancel a playdate today with her BFF so I had to do my best!
My assistant fell asleep on the job, and my other helper forgot that food coloring when all mixed together makes grayish black! Hey that's ok! It tastes good and Julia loves grey!
I may have to fire my assistant though if he keeps sleeping on the job! Hard to find good help these days!

What has come over me?

I wish someone could tell me how the girl that shirked away from crowds and people has suddenly become a social extrovert?!? I think the right people bring out the right good stuff in your heart that has always been there. I detest crowds, parties, people with a lot of stuff to talk about and especially anything regarding politically correct stuff! I was brought up that you didn't discuss religion and politics and taboo topics. You had your thoughts and feelings but you never voiced them out loud for fear of offending someone. I didn't mind this much as I never had much to say and I never "felt" partial about much of anything. I "went with the flow" the popular choice, the majority! Then I had kids... And said kids needed guidance and direction and virtues...and I chose to find those within my faith and before you knew it I was a person with convictions and I had a voice and feelings about right and wrong?!? I am not afraid to speak up if I believe it is truth. I don't know what has come over me, I give credit to God and Godly type people in my life like my husband. It should be no surprise I was giddy when my husband purchased me some "jewelry" this past weekend. Oh yes he did, in fact he bought some for the whole family...not gold or silver but little bands for us to wear proudly. Yes, you will see me at my very FIRST rally this Friday, amongst yes....a crowd of people...sure my anxiety will be high and my mind will be praying for peace, but I will be there because it's the right thing to do! So say goodbye to the wallflower that used to hide in her room secretly wishing she were someone else and say hello to the new me! You don't have to agree with me, I leave all those matters up to God and you can take it up with Him.

Boys to Men

With Fathers Day around the corner I have boys and daddies on the brain... My ultimate Abba Father is the source of all my joy and hope and peace and I have been blessed by choosing a Godly husband and as a result am finding happiness in raising two little men to be JUST like him. I came across two inspirational quotes last night that really served up what I'm feeling and thinking lately... I love my boys and daily pray for their vocation and thankfully my husband does to. Besides the dirt, noise, and insanity that follows my little men I feel responsible to raise them with a sense of virtue and respect. This world has plenty of "dudes" but I'm hoping for MEN, the gentlemanly sort that hold God close to their hearts forever. Today I will offer them up in prayer and as well as every other young man, boy, baby I can think of!

How many Taratutas can you fit?

Ok so this is a light hearted one! A chuckle maybe even a smile! Tony took the van north and left me with his hamster mobile. I appreciate having a car in case of an emergency...but in theory, well let's just say it was a tight squeeze. I had no intentions of driving it until said 4 yr. old informed me he had no toilet paper and should he use a wash cloth?!? What?!?
So how many Taratutas did we fit? Believe it or not the answer is five! Safely but snugly and only into town to buy some TP and ice cream, because everyone knows ice cream goes well with a ride in dads car!

Am I up for challenge?

Recently I began reading Ann Voskamp's 1000 gifts upon recommendation of a dear friend. It was easy at first documenting my gratitude as life was EASY and fun... I was giddy every night logging on my app all the amazing things God had given me or done for me...then today hit, and although it compares in nothing to what Voskamp endured, it was one of those days where joy is sucked right out of your soul. Let me rephrase that: I allowed my human nature of selfishness and pity to sap myself of any hope I had of feeling gratitude. It began with sad children discovering park day was cancelled...to realizing I had to go to store with kids...to the call I fear the most "grandma is in the hospital"...and then the wet dismal rain soaked me as I unloaded the groceries. Kiddies attempted a craft which left me frustrated....STOP... This is my aha turning point. Am I up for challenge of finding joy in the mundane mishaps of life. I had to take three deep breaths and look around...I had not intended to share my gratitude journal with anyone. I figure I blog enough about my boring life who wants to hear more! But today this is solely to document to myself that I can do this! I can keep up the race and continue to find the wonderful things in my life God has given me! So here goes: friendship bracelets with my girls, lemon bars for lunch, an encouraging Facebook message from a Godly mom, blooming flowers drinking up the rain, sleeping babe in my arms that is growing by the minute and a quiet house to write my blog!
Yes I am up to this Challenge but only through Gods strength and hope will I finish it!

Grandpa Tiny Farm

What fun we had at Tiny's farm! Leroy the pony/horse greeted us...we saw and touched baby chicks, bunnies, and goats and a baby cow got "fresh" with the moms! Ha ha seriously from the wagon ride to the peacock sprouting his glorious tail the homeschool field trip was huge hit! Bonus: we came home tired!