My Mom

Lately I have been reading some AMAZING blogs about mothers! Truly inspirational ones that have left me reflective of my own mother. Today I went on an adventure trying to find the PERFECT Mothers Day gift for my mom! What does one buy for someone that has everything? Then it hit me...the greatest gift I can give her is an expression of what she really means to me! So here goes mom: you better get your Kleenex box! We don't always agree on a lot of stuff concerning politics, religion, social decisions, and stuff like that but what I find amazing is that regardless of how crazy we make each other we always manage to work it out and agree to disagree. We can talk for hours on the phone about next to nothing and still feel like we are solving a world crisis. You are my favorite texting buddy, shopping partner, and artsy crafty go to girl! I will never forget when you dropped everything and came and sat by my side in the hospital in middle of night when we thought I was having a miscarriage with Blaise! I will never forget how you worked so that I could go to the BEST school possible, I will never be able to thank you enough for helping me out of the numerous jams I got myself into as a teen, and I will never forget the understanding I received of how you sacrificed your life for me. I never fully appreciated you as a mother until I became one. Thank you for being my ally, my friend and even my foe at times so that I could become a strong, assertive woman. I once heard a little saying and it didn't make much sense to me until now:
For a son is a son till he takes him a wife, but a daughters a daughter and friend for life! Happy Mother's Day I love you
And to make it even THAT much better I am going to post a picture of myself which is something I NEVER ever do as I am not quite pleased with any photo of myself especially post baby, but the girls asked me to and we all know it's hard for a mother to say No!

Spring Riddles

Benedict had his baby well check up today and while in the waiting room Julia wrote some Spring riddles...

I am a turquoise, round, and very small thing. I'm not too old at all; I sit in twigs my mom weaves for me, it's a little crowded for a family of three!
What am I?

I am used for swinging in the breeze, just come on and sit on me; I'm very big enough for two- just don't cut my ropes, or I'll fall on top of you!
What am I?

I fill the air with my noise, it's not sad, it's filled with joy! A tickle, a joke, Or a puppy's play can cause me to start right away!
What am I?

I chitter chatter, make a noise, I jump and leap over girls and boys. I gather things, and this will make you know-
Being nutty, I'm a pro!
What am I?

Bold, beautiful, pretty too. I am all these things it's true! I'm very tall, but I cannot roam, please don't pick me from my home! Here's a clue, if you are confused, that lovely scent...it's my natural perfume!
What am I?

Happy Spring
Julia,10 years old

Ten Months Old

Ok so here is my mommy confessional, been so wrapped up with my number two girl, completely and totally forgot that my number four boy was turning ten months old today! Literally just looked at calendar and said "oh my he is 10 months old today!"
Normally I try to document any new baby milestones a week before to blog about it and remember... Here's where we are at: he is talking but not in the presence of strangers, he is letting go and standing, he is still detesting the play pen, he will be left alone with a baby sitter for first time this week (nana) while I host a little flower meeting, he loves to copy his brother and sisters ( good, bad, and ugly), he does not like Cheerios ( thought all babies did!) He loves music and singing in a baby song voice, he gives kisses to daddy all the time, and he is quite a personable character once he warms up to you! Ok I think I covered it... Oh and he is the sweetest, cutest little guy in our eyes and a true gift from God! Happy Ten Months!
Note: lately Blaise has requested that he and Benedict wear the same color every day, so today was a green day I guess!

First Communion

Today Emerson Rose celebrated her First Eucharist! God Bless You our dear sweet daughter we love you so much!

Alabama

That was the destination of Emersons ballet group! It was amazing to see her on that stage. I have so much to say but to be honest am absolutely exhausted! Benedict and I hung out ALL day backstage for both shows! I am so thankful he loves just hanging out! Not one time did he cry and it was not very baby friendly territory. Imagine a huge gymnasium with tons of girls in costumes with beads, sequins, Bobby pins and make up! Oh it was thrilling and tiresome all at once. To watch your daughter get up on stage and get her groove on with an air of self confidence is truly inspirational! I met so many wonderful supportive loving mothers and every single one of those girls and boys were true gifts from God! Ok I am delirious time to sign off!

Before and After

Busy crazy day preparing for this rehearsal, recital, and then the most important thing...her First Communion. I am attempting to remain calm as a cucumber, but with running to get Julia a communion outfit to wear, buying bobby pins, going to salon, and remembering to steam all the outfits...I am feeling myself slipping into an abyss of stress and worry...deep breaths and a quick call to my mom is providing relief. Emerson is full of excitement and joy as she should be. It will be her first time on stage. I am proud and excited at her air of confidence. Next stop...Alabama..(ballet recital theme)

This One is For Me...

A few days ago I opened up a little bit about a major decision that our family had to make. I didn't share many details because I was still doubting and not TRUSTING in God. I am not a very trusting person so it overwhelmed me at the amount of prayers and support people generously gave me. Not even knowing what decision Tony and I had to make people just said "I am praying for you" My poor dear mother thought we were moving out of state and requested some more details and the more I opened up about it the more I realized the answer was there in my face all along and all I had to do was TRUST as Jan said. So today this blog is for me! I hate change...but it has become apparent that our family needs to move on from our current parish to another one the same distance from our home. We originally chose our parish for the small size appeal and friendly attitude. At the time reverence and respect for the Eucharist was farthest from our mind...truthfully we were just seeking something easy to check off the box that stated yup I went this Sunday... Easy in and easy out... My husband never fully committed himself to getting involved. Recently our family has expressed a desire for more...my brother in law composed a song"more Jesus" by Brian Whitscell I don't know how to link it but it is a fantastic song about needing Jesus! Our family was needing more and God led us to a parish that is just as amazing as our old one and it offers unlimited amount of opportunities to worship, adore, and rejoice in the Blessed Sacrament! So we make the transition and although I am scared and worried I am following the advice of one wise woman " just trust..." and I am thinking of a song I used to sing as a child " make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold"
Thank you to everyone that has prayed for our family!!!!
We are excited to embark on this new journey.

Orthodontist

Today is Julia's first ortho appointment. Just saying that makes me cringe. Eight years of braces for myself and I still recall the tightening, the nasty wax they gave me to cover the wires that jabbed my gums, and the constant trips back and forth to attempt to straighten my teeth! Ugh! But here is the twist! Julia is thrilled about today! Totally ecstatic and excited! Now my dilemma?!? To share or not to share the truth. Awhile back she saw a young gal with brightly colored sparkles in her mouth. To her that was the coolest thing ever! Julia has never cared much for what is popular, fashionable or "in"! She cares about what screams out " I am an individual, unique person!" She has it set in her mind that she will simply sport some neon colored braces and Voila! Her teeth will be perfect! Awww my poor child what you do not know! I haven't the heart yet to explain to her the food restrictions, tightening process or weekly appointments involved. I will let the orthodontist be the bad guy. He gets paid the big bucks anyways right?!?
I just plan on being the doting, consoling mother. I remember my dad driving me to my appointments and sometimes it hurt so bad that he would buy me a nice cold shake afterwards. My mom would give me soft things for dinner and have the Tylenol ready. That is the route I plan on taking. So she is literally all smiles today until after appointment and the news will be delivered! I have decided to take a before and after just to remember the reaction.

To thee do we cry...

The purpose of this blog is to document what it is my family does. I am tired and old and my memory doesn't prove to serve me as it used to. I like to remember all of my children's accomplishments, falls, trials and tribulations. So it only seemed fitting to note that Benedict officially has his first cold. I don't mean a sniffle I mean a full blown stuffed-up-nose-sneeze in your face kind of cold! The kind that keeps mommy up at night because he can't breathe and thus can not sleep. The kind that makes him cry the minute I put him down. Which brings me to my next thought...call it my lack of sleep oh boy here she goes again blog...today is May 1, and I always think of two things during May...ok maybe more than that but right now two is good! I think of my dear sweet hubby's birthday and I think of Mary the Mother of Our Lord...many times have I fled to her to intercede on my behalf for many reasons. Just like today as my poor, sick baby boy is constantly craving the warmth of my arms, I too am feeling the need for Mary. What better role model as a mother than the one who said Yes to God and bore our Lord and Savior! In order to stay true to form I photographed my little guy with his first cold! Such sad eyes!

Emerson and her stole

I had the pleasure of making a stole with Emerson for her upcoming First Communion. It was a highlight of our weekend, in between the sneezes and coughing going thru the house. As we cut and glued on the symbols she asked me about my first communion. I am a convert, and so I shared with her how at my mid 20's my girlfriend Karen helped me discover what Catholicism was. Many people assumed I only converted because Tony, whom I had just met was Catholic as well. I am sure God placed him in my life at that particular time two weeks after I bought a ticket for a Marcus Grodi conference, but not even Tony could have instituted the miraculous change the Eucharist brought into my life. Emerson asked me what it was like taking communion that Easter vigil in 1995 and I still recall to this day the amazing grace and healing my soul underwent. It was special just her and I sitting at the table sharing our thoughts and I really hope I imparted to her the monumental moment she is about to experience. I know the miraculous gift she will receive is nothing I can give her in words or tangible things, and as my MIL reminds me daily, I must trust in Jesus to do the rest!

Wagon Ride

With Julia, it was repetitive car rides back and forth thru downtown until she conked out. Emerson loved her stroller walks and Blaise preferred the baby carrier, I swear the kid lived in that baby carrier! Benedict has proven to be just as unique. His favorite thing to do is ride in his wagon! He likes to be held by a sister or brother, but when he is tired he loves to lay down and just snooze. We just took a lovely Sunday walk around the block, minus Julia who is resting on couch with lap top, phone and iPad nursing her sore throat! She may be milking it a little bit I think! We walked and talked and at one point saw a train passing by...fun times!

Hide and Seek

Well we did it! And I don't say this to brag as if I am a supermom or something, but we finished another school year! Remember now I started wayyyyy early due to baby being born and scared out of my wits I would get behind! So yesterday I officially promoted Julia to 7th grade, Emerson to 3rd and even my little Blaise wrapped up his Kindergarten and is on his way to first grade! We had whoops and yells and shouts and hide the books and put away the notebooks! I thought I would feel great inside but then it hit me?!? Now what? What do I fill the days with before Fall? Oh sure we have a vacation and 4h and birthday parties but I am talking about all that down time...when you run as tight a ship as I do any down time is a scary thought. For example, yesterday Blaise flooded the sink during his down time. One thing is for sure I am looking forward to just playing the role of mommy for the next few months. My highlighter and red pen are being hidden away in the cupboard until the Fall! Speaking of hide and seek...Benedict discovered a new favorite hiding spot today...oh I love being a mom!

Art Angel

Yesterday was Julia's art day and I wasn't planning on speaking about her art work, but then I received an email from my MIL that it was also the day Of Our Lady of Good Counsel. Right before that email a girlfriend of mine reminded me she had been completing her novena as well. I know I am rambling but when I get excited I do that so please be patient. For months now I have been in prayer now regarding a major decision that Tony and I have been considering. I must of had cotton in my ears as I could not hear the answer or what to do about my predicament. Then it dawned on me that God does not always wrap the answer up in a pretty little bow and hand it to us. Sometimes heartache, pain, and a dose of discernment are given before clarity. When Julia showed me her art work yesterday she followed with "Mr. West said no two Angels are alike and I envisioned this was what your Guardian Angel looked like. I wanted to draw this for you just because."
It brought me to my knees as I knew God had used my daughter to guide my own stubbornness at accepting what I already knew to be the right thing to do. Following good counsel is not always easy but right. I shared my thoughts with Tony and he agreed that it was time to put some action into our plan and so begins our journey...
To be continued....

Poem in my Pocket

Ok so all credit for today's activity is going straight to my cousin Sarah. She is extremely intelligent and via Facebook, which I am loving by the way she sent a link out about it being a national poetry day! The spinoff was that people were choosing their favorite poems and placing them in their pocket and periodically or randomly thru out the day pulling out said poem and reciting it. Well I could not wait to tell my gang about today's activity and they could not wait to get started. Now they all wanted to copy down their favorite poem and Blaise wanted to make a picture of his. Hey he's only four I had to bend the rules a bit. Benedict had a more culinary approach and found a Shel Silverstein extremely tasty! I would love to be on a campus or library today listening to the recitations of people's favorite poets, but for now I am anxiously waiting to find out what poem is in their pockets! Thank you Sarah!

Purrfect 10

Julia is a t-shirt fanatic...to those who knew her as a baby they may find this funny. For the first three years of her life I only dressed her in dresses. I suppose she became a victim of dress burn out. I am just learning to embrace the notion that God has a great sense of humor. As moms we think we know our kids so well and what is best for them but sometimes they teach us a thing or two...take this t shirt Julia insisted on wearing recently. It's cute and all but I had purposely chose not to wash it for a few weeks in hopes that I would not have to look at it on a daily basis. Recently I discovered it soaking wet laying over the edge of the tub. What happened I exclaimed? Julia replied: you seemed to be getting behind in your laundry so I took it upon myself now that I am 10 to wash it myself, but you will have to wash your own clothes because this was hard work....

Wrap Up

This is the last week of school for us. The girls have accomplished quite a lot this year and even Blaise did exceptionally well for all the demands I placed on him. We are always in learning mode, or at least I am... Ha ha but the girls are excited at a break from the routine. We are planning on learning Latin this summer or attempting to I shall say... And they always like to do summer science stuff, Emerson will be improving her book report skills and Julia will be spending some time in the world of pre- algebra...ahh doesn't that sound fun! Ok many will say gee give the kids a break so before anyone judges my perfectionistic ways we also have lots of fun planned to! There is a vacation coming up altho not sure the destination yet hint hint Tony and park days and the beloved 4h fair and the pool and oh yes I believe someone promised a picnic at the park and painting when the weather warmed up. I also want to take advantage of some of the downtime just sitting on the front porch reading some classics to the kids. Blaise has a camp out planned with Tony and the girls and I are wanting to get to Farmers Market to get some seasonal fruit. So in a few more days if you hear shouting and squealing and find textbooks flying in the air it is just my gang celebrating another successful school year!

iPad

I feel odd talking about this, as I am not one that likes blabbing about material things. The kids were insistent that I document this only because it shows a true sense of selflessness on Tony's part. He really surprised me Sunday in a way that shocked my socks off! Most that follow this blog know that Tony and I don't really do big gifts for each other. We focus on the kids and come to a mutual agreement on things we need for the home or family. He occasionally surprises me with flowers or a special candy treat and that is sufficient for me. Today was different in a truly unforgettable way. I have really enjoyed my blogging, Facebook and tweets! I have not minded doing it via my phone and I don't label myself an expert it is merely a hobby. The thought of doing it from an iPad was a dream. Today that dream became a reality. Tony surprised me and gave me an iPad so that I could use it as a teaching tool and as a form of entertainment. I don't like indulging myself like this and it was awkward at first, ok it was awkward for a second and then I cried and then I gleefully began to think about all the ways I can use this device. I am really thankful that Tony did this for me. Ok enough about me I feel like I am bragging and I don't like to do that. Anyways, thank you to my hubby!

Celebration Cake

Yesterday was like a twilight zone experience...it began as any other normal day...Tony preparing to power wash deck...he rents a 300 lb commercial size one which he discovers will NOT work..being on a time constraint he rushes in vain to get the thing working so he can stay within his four hour time frame. Three hours later still no luck.. We decide to take it back...alas how does one lift a 300lb washer when all neighbors are gone for day?!? He decides to go to Home Depot to get a board to build a ramp to push said washer into van...as he attempts to move it he clips his Achilles heel and falls in driveway in vain..
It gets better trust me. He attempts to leave our battery in van is dead as he left doors open entire time to work on power washer. He rushes up to store in his car only to realize he left his wallet at home...rushes back home with ramp to put washer back in van...while pushing it I find out pigeons are building a nest in our garage. I'm shooing them out and Tony is quickly putting washer in van... Only few more minutes and he runs out of time!
He did manage to get washer to store in nick of time to which they informed him it was a broken unit! Are you joking me?!? In meantime we managed to get both cars up and functioning and make a cake! A celebration cake really that we survived this wacky weird day! We all sat around table laughing afterwards at chaos and how one thing led to another... Oh and Julia said blame it on the birds. They didn't want their nest under the deck disturbed!

Courageous

Let me explain to you the power of prayer. I have been praying for several years now for Tony. He is a great guy, a good provider and one of high morals! But I wanted better for him. I knew he could be an excellent father a courageous one not ashamed to say NO to work and yes to his Family and to God. Recently I have been noticing a change... Afraid to even think it was permanent I just held my breath and continued to support him and pray. I didn't doubt God's ability or that He was listening I knew Tony merely had to say YES I want to be a stand up man for my family. Last week the holy spirit put it in his heart to attend a men's meeting where they watched the movie Courageous. I urged him to go thinking he would meet some new pals. Little did I know the change and impact this movie would make on his heart. He came home excited and willing to share with me his desires for our family. I was urged myself to watch the movie. Boy, it was a tear jerker in good and bad ways. I certainly wanted to jump on board with the resolutions that were presented in the movie. I want my children to have the kind of father presented in the movie and Tony wants to be that kind of dad. He has the fun, friend guy down pat! But the discerning, guiding spirit of a father that drops everything and dances with his daughter as if it is his last opportunity to touch and hold his beloved child! That's the man I want and that is the man he desires to become. I am feeling so blessed by God these days and I know life will have it's ups and downs I am just thankful my husband and family have God along for the ride!

Day Off

I woke up today ecstatic! No chores, no school, no pressure!
We piled in van and set out to go visit Nana and Papa. It has been ages since all the kids have been there to visit! It was so much fun playing with chalk, colored bubbles, and eating the yummy Amish peanut butter. I mainly wanted my mom to get a lot of exposure to Benedict as I am hoping to leave him and Blaise home with the grandparents as I venture to my next little flower meeting with the girls. Benedict made strange at first, as he does with everyone, but warmed right up to Nana! He's no fool he knows where to go for some spoiling! It was really a nice day of visiting and playing just like our good old Friday fun days used to be!

Spring Swing

Twitter-twit twit go the tweeting birds as they soar thru the air
Like paper airplanes
swish swish swish goes my hair.
Creak squeak creak
Back and forth I go on the old wooden swing.
Rustle! Goes the branches up high.
Back and forth back and forth!
Whoosh
The swing breaks in two like a banana split.
Sssssnap Goes the rope, swooosh!
I fly thru the air...
Puff fluff I land in a bed of flowers as fluffy as a mattress.
My friend and I giggle wiggle roll in the grass like an elephant taking a dust bath.
Swish wish wash woosh
Do the spring swing!
Julia, 10

White Poodle

When my mother was clearing out my grandmothers place she generously let the kids and I come and take any of grandma's knick knacks for keepsakes. Grandma had so many unique and unusual things it was amazing. One little trinket that Emerson fell in love with is a white poodle statue. I have no idea where he came from or his story of why my grandma had him, but we love putting him out as part of our spring decor. Recently a friend of mine told me she had seen him before in an antique store?!? I am not interested in if he has value or not, his cheeky little look is enough for us!

Dog Sitting

Ok I know yesterday I said I was coming from a place of no, but this obligation was pre-awakening! This is Isabelle! Our neighbors dog that needed a little tlc while her family is away. My dog experts have fed her, walked her and played with her! This is only a 48 hour gig but she is one pampered pet!

Saying No is saying yes to the Kids

A very spiritual friend of mine has written the most beautiful blog recently. I can not get it out of my mind. The summary of it is basically moms need to not feel guilty about saying "no" to certain things... Paring down is how she called it...but I digress let me start at my own beginning. I have done an injustice to my kids. This year in an effort to work on my social anxiety issues I may have gone overboard "yessing" myself to death. I have agreed to just about everything put in front of me, and although the kids have been kept VERY active and busy I have sent myself into a horrible tailspin where I can't come up for air. Many know my situation and I am pretty much flying solo without any direction. Sure people sweetly offer to help, and although I appreciate it, how does one dump their own mess onto another's lap and walk away to relax?
So as not to plagiarize my dear friend Amanda I will be coming from a place of No! I will say it politely and kindly and please don't hold a grudge or be upset....
The kids are almost done with school and the recital and communion and religious Ed will be done at end of May! We will take a break from art class this summer and 4h will be done by end of July! All the other engagements will be placed on hold until further notice as God is telling me I need to say Yes to my family...we need to sit on the grass and look at clouds, collect bugs, make sand pies and take walks. We need to have more time around the table and less time sitting in the van going from point a to point b!
Instead of rushing thru our prayers to get somewhere on time we need to spend more devotional time in prayer. It is going to be like when you go to a store and the clock on the front door says: out to lunch be back later!
That's me! I am finally saying no to the chaos and yes to the kids!
I always say " I am doing it for them!"
Now I need to put my actions into place!
Thank you Mandi!

Divine Mercy Sunday

Divine Mercy: the devotion focuses on the merciful love of God that is based on the writings of St. Faustina Kowalski. God wants us to recognize that His mercy is greater than our sins, so that we can call upon Him with trust, receive His mercy, and let it flow through us to others.
At 3pm we are taking the family to St. Roberts to say the chaplet and confession. God knows we love Him when we keep his commandments. Works of mercy for our family mean bearing each others wrongs, forgiving them, serving others and loving our enemies.
Happy Sunday from our family to yours! God Bless!

Who Knew?!?

My mom likes Hawaii Five O.
My cousin in Calif. posted a cool vegetarian food pyramid.
My aunt and uncle in Trout Creek are monitoring the weather.
My sister in law in Chicago bought a new mop. I learned what a chile could be used for in cuisine..and my sister in law in Wisconsin and I finally found a way to connect and stay in touch! This all happened via Facebook, in one day! Now I have always enjoyed my anonymity and privacy, and unlike most don't care to connect with Joe Smith from twenty years ago! But I did find it fascinating the information, random I will admit, gathered in only a few hours! Will I be able to keep up? Probably not! I prefer to have face to face time with someone! But I did love seeing my adorable nephews collage at 9 months old and viewing some old pictures of family I haven't seen in years! And yes I know my profile is skewed and not detailed, but hey have you seen my hubby's? Tito Widget? Check it out and God Bless!

Timberrrr!

You want to know a way to make a 4 year old stand still? Have him go outside and watch tree cutters! At approx. 8 this morning we heard chainsaws. Blaise rushed to window only to discover that Old Hickory was coming down! Several large dead trees were here when we all built our homes and each year one or more are taken down, either manually or by the wind!
This particular one the kids loved as it was especially spooky looking on Halloween! The tree cutters informed me they were donating all the wood to an older woman that carves the hickory into furniture?!? Interesting I thought!

Nature Versus Nurture

Last night at Emerson's ballet class Julia brought her sketch pad and began drawing some of the girls dancing. Another mom began raving about her "talent" and how great she was. Julia is a humble kid and smiled and kept drawing. The mom began inquiring on my own drawing ability to which I laughed hysterically and showed her my stick figure rendition of drawing. I began pondering the old question is it Nature or Nurture...environment or genes...although I firmly believe all things come from God, He does allow certain things to happen. Every morning when I wake up I see this little cat picture painted by Julia when she was 3. I know her desire to be artistic began at an early age, but was it nature or nurture? I also know Tony has a lot of creative folk on his side and my mom is awfully crafty herself so I do believe part of it is genetic. Recently, Julia began designing prayer cards for people. I found that to be a prime example of using your talents for the greater good. When I look at a beautiful photo or painting I always think how blessed that individual is to have been given that particular gift. I find it sad when people tell me they aren't good at anything. We all have special gifts, a little self exploration will bring them out.